The Engagement Page 10

  “I would. Since I was a boy, my father encouraged me to work at the stables with the horses, also with cattle, sheep, and in the fields at the harvest. I will do the same with our sons. It will help them value the privileges but also understand the responsibilities that come from being a Darcy. I do enjoy manual labour even now. It helps to take my mind away from worries. After last April I spent long weeks working as no more than a stable hand. I thought it would help me to forget you.”

  Elizabeth reached for his hand, opening his palm, examining his long fingers, looking for confirmation to his words. It was not a hand of someone who had never known manual labour; on the contrary, it was strong and calloused in places. “Did it help?”

  He smiled. “No, but it served its purpose. By the end of the day I was so tired that I could sleep all night without recurring dreams of you.”

  Standing up, she stood close to him, placing his hand on her waist. “You promised me something back at Netherfield.”

  It did not take long for him to understand her meaning, and answer, “I do not remember promising you anything. I said only that I would try to find some private time for us.”

  “Then try.”

  The tone of his voice dropped as he spoke. “I do not wish for your mother to suspect that I invited you here only to have my way with you.”

  “You know very well that my mother would be the least upset if she suspected anything of the kind.”

  “Elizabeth, dearest.” He enclosed her in his arms, looking into her eyes. “‘Tis only a few weeks until our wedding.”

  “Five,” she clarified.

  “In a little over a month we shall be together at Pemberley, and I promise you that we will not leave our bedchamber for three days or more.”

  Elizabeth rose on her toes, supporting her hands on his broad arms, and pressed her lips to his. He responded to the kiss with mild ardour, but all too soon he ended it gently but decidedly.

  “I beg you to cease this, Elizabeth. It is a torture to kiss and hold you like this, but not be able to fully consummate our union. We must restrain ourselves until our wedding.”

  Elizabeth frowned, stepping away from him. “I understand you perfectly well, sir. I will forbid myself from imposing my person on you furthermore.”

  “Do not be cross with me, darling.” He lifted her hand to his lips.

  She freed her hand from his hold and smoothed down her skirts. “Let us return to the drawing room. Mama and Jane are surely waiting for us with tea.”

  “Elizabeth,” he said with longing in his voice, but she ignored him, hurrying out of the room.

  ***

  The next few days proved to be so busy for Elizabeth that even if Darcy had showed more willingness, it would have been difficult to find time to see each other for more than a quarter of an hour. Mrs. Bennet insisted on meeting with the seamstresses every day so that Elizabeth and Jane’s new wardrobes were finished on time. Moreover, looking for the right kind of accessories such as gloves, hats, shawls, and reticules that matched the new outfits was also consuming a lot of time.

  Darcy suggested that Elizabeth should speak with the housekeeper at the townhouse. They would not return to London until later next year. In his view it was a good opportunity for Elizabeth to begin dealing with her new duties as Mrs. Darcy. As it was expected, Mrs. Bennet supported Darcy wholeheartedly, practically ordering her daughter to summon the housekeeper and look over the household accounts with her. Elizabeth was astonished, though, that her mother did not wish to join her in order to advise her. Mrs. Bennet stated that Elizabeth had to deal with it on her own.

  “Once in Derbyshire, there will be no one to help you. Remember what I taught you and your sisters in that respect. You are a clever girl, Lizzy, and you will do just fine.”

  That was perhaps the highest praise that Elizabeth had ever received from her mother in her life.

  The days passed quickly, November turning into December. Jane received long letters from Mr. Bingley almost every day, and it seemed that the gentleman did nothing more in Ramsgate but write, or rather scribble, to his lady, because the letters were long but also at times difficult to read. Jane asked Elizabeth a few times to help her to decipher them. The news, however, were not good. Caroline was calm and quiet but also very sad. She barely spoke to anyone and ate very little. She was reluctant to leave the house, even though the physician recommended long walks and other outdoor activities like horse riding.

  Elizabeth felt for poor Mr. Bingley, who was a good man, for not wishing to leave his sister in the hour of need. At the same time she was upset with Caroline’s behaviour, feeling that the woman was trying to separate Bingley from Jane. She did not doubt Caroline’s illness, but she also did not trust her in the least.

  Her only consolation in the matter was that Darcy had promised to her that he would bring Bingley to Netherfield in time for the wedding.

  ***

  Elizabeth walked into her sister’s bedroom without knocking, as the door was open.

  “Lizzy, will you help me with this?” Jane asked, trying to push the loose curl which fell out of her coiffure.

  “Darcy told me earlier that you received a letter from Mr. Bingley,” Elizabeth said, pushing two pins into her sister’s pale blonde hair to secure any wayward locks from escaping.

  “I did. Charles wrote that Caroline’s condition has not changed. She seems indifferent to what is happening around her.”

  “She is not indifferent to the fact that her brother sits with her instead of being here with you.”

  “Lizzy, do not be unkind. Caroline is sick.”

  “Caroline is spoiled.”

  “Charles is afraid that she will attempt to harm herself if he leaves her alone too soon.”

  Elizabeth put her arms around her sister, hugging her, careful not to ruin the hairstyle. “Oh, Jane. I cannot imagine ever being as good as you are. I could not be so considerate and patient in your place.”

  “Imagine Georgiana being sick. Would you forbid Mr. Darcy from taking care of her?”

  “Of course not.”

  “There, you see?”

  “There is a considerable difference. Georgiana is very much different than Caroline. She would never try to use her illness to manipulate her brother.”

  “I believe that Caroline is not as bad as you perceive her, Lizzy. She is lost and confused in her beliefs, views, and general understanding of the world. She is not happy with her own company, which makes her miserable. But let us talk about something different. I must say that I am pleased that Colonel Fitzwilliam is joining us tonight. I am quite curious about him. Georgiana speaks so highly of him.”

  “Colonel Fitzwilliam is a very engaging companion. I am also looking forward to this evening. Even more so now that the Gardiners are coming,” Elizabeth informed.

  “They are?”

  “Mama told me that she received a message from Uncle. Aunt feels restless at home and he convinced her to accept Darcy’s invitation for the dinner.”

  “It was good of Mr. Darcy to include the Gardiners.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “He is genuinely fond of them. He said to me that he would always be grateful to them that they brought me to Derbyshire instead of travelling farther on to the Lake District.”

  ***

  Elizabeth watched in great amusement Colonel Fitzwilliam’s expression as he was introduced to her elder sister. The gentleman lost the power of speech for a moment, simply staring. It was an expected reaction to Jane’s beauty, one Elizabeth had witnessed many times before.

  “Your sister is very beautiful,” Colonel Fitzwilliam told her himself later on as they were waiting for dinner to be served.

  “She is. I have never seen anyone more beautiful.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam looked at her in wonder. “You are not jealous of her beauty,” he stated.

  “I am not. I have never been. Jane is the sweetest and kindest person in the world. I love her; I cannot imagine being jealous o
f her. I am proud that she is admired wherever she goes.”

  “She seems very kind,” Colonel Fitzwilliam agreed. “I cannot believe that my foolish cousin tried to talk Bingley out of marrying her.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “You knew that it was my sister?”

  “At the time we spoke during our walk in Rosings Park?” he guessed her thought. “No, I did not know. It was simply a piece of gossip I repeated to you. Darcy made me realize the identity of the lady in question a few weeks later. Had I known that it was your sister, I would have never...”

  “It does not matter now, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Both Jane and I are very happy.”

  “Still, it was a lesson for me to watch my tongue next time.”

  Elizabeth smiled at him graciously, hoping to reassure him that she held no ill feelings towards him.

  “May I say how pleased I am that the matter between Darcy and you has been resolved so well?”

  “Thank you.”

  “He is very happy. I have never seen him so; perhaps only when his mother still lived.”

  “I hope to maintain his state of happiness.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam leaned towards her, saying, “And I am certain that you will be successful in your endeavour.”

  The way he said the words and looked at her made Elizabeth blush a little. She suddenly remembered that there was a time when she had regretted that Colonel Fitzwilliam had no means to be seriously interested in her.

  “You told me that you learned that it was my sister of whom we talked about that afternoon in Kent a few weeks later,” she said, hoping to hear more about it.

  “Yes, indeed. It was at the end of May, I believe. Darcy was behaving strangely. He was very upset upon leaving Kent, and he did it so abruptly. Then he did not reply to any of my letters. When I was on my way to Matlock to visit my parents, I decided to pay him a visit at Pemberley. I was worried that he was sick.”

  Elizabeth watched his face closely, waiting for him to continue.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam cleared his throat. “I know that you had good reasons to refuse Darcy, and I daresay that this experience taught him a lot, but I would not wish to see him ever again in the state that he was at the time.”

  Some invisible string tugged at Elizabeth’s heart. “I am truly sorry to hear that.”

  “But as I have said, it did him good in the end. He is an excellent man, the best—however, he needs guidance on occasion, like any of us.”

  Dinner was announced, interrupting their conversation. Elizabeth looked around, searching for Darcy to accompany her to the dining room, but he had already offered his arm to Mrs. Gardiner. Elizabeth was left to be escorted by Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  The meal was excellent, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Elizabeth praised herself silently at choosing the right menu. She was enjoying the excellent soup when Mrs. Gardiner, who sat on her right side, leaned towards her, speaking quietly, “Lizzy, I would be more careful in your place.”

  “Careful?”

  “Mr. Darcy was not pleased when you talked with his cousin for so long.”

  “But we discussed Darcy himself,” Elizabeth protested.

  Mrs. Gardiner looked her right in the eye. “You smiled at Colonel Fitzwilliam, and seemed very pleased with his company.”

  Elizabeth looked over at Darcy, who was staring at his plate, a heavy frown settled on his forehead.

  “Colonel Fitzwilliam is not only Darcy’s cousin, but also his best friend. Darcy trusts him more than anyone else in the world. He trusts him with Georgiana.”

  “It does not mean, however, that he enjoys watching you flirting with him,” Mrs. Gardiner cut her short.

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to deny such allegations but then closed it. She was glad to see Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was easy company. Was she flirting with him, though?

  Chapter Eleven

  The following day, Elizabeth was ready to agree with her aunt that she had been right yesterday saying that Darcy was jealous of Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  Darcy was reserved and quiet, even more than usual. He did not seek her company. He was avoiding her, closing himself in his study for long hours. He was polite but also distant. They were to leave for Hertfordshire in three days, and the initial plan was that Darcy and Georgiana were to travel with them. However, now Darcy said that he would have to stay in town for a few more days and only Georgiana would join the Bennet ladies.

  Elizabeth could not believe that her short conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam could have caused such a change in him.

  When he chose to take tea alone in his study the second time in two days, Elizabeth decided that she had to address the matter, as this behaviour could not last any longer.

  She excused herself to her mother, Jane and Georgiana, explaining that she would join Darcy for tea.

  “I thought that you might wish for company,” she announced with a smile, entering the library, the maid following her with a tray with tea and refreshments.

  Darcy put away a letter that he was reading and stood up to greet her. “It would be my pleasure,” he assured, but his voice and manner were guarded.

  Elizabeth sent the maid away, fixing him a cup the way he liked it with sugar but without milk.

  They enjoyed tea in silence for some time before she asked, “Fitzwilliam, are you upset with me?”

  He put down his empty cup and said nothing.

  “Fitzwilliam,” she probed.

  “I am not upset, Elizabeth. I simply realized something in the course of the last few days.”

  “Oh? What is it?”

  He shrugged his broad shoulders, looking down at his hands. “Nothing of importance. Will you leave me now? I still have much correspondence to attend to.”

  “Fitzwilliam,” she repeated.

  He looked her right in the eye. “What do you want from me, Elizabeth?”

  “Talk to me.”

  “There is nothing to talk about. Please join your mother and our sisters. I wish to complete as many matters as possible before the wedding.”

  Darcy returned to the desk, sitting down in the leather chair and opening the letter which he had been reading before she had come.

  Elizabeth knew that he had dismissed her, but she was not one to admit defeat easily. She came to stand beside his chair, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Are you upset about me conversing with Colonel Fitzwilliam?”

  He stiffened visibly under her touch, not tearing his eyes away from his letter. “You showed your preference very clearly that evening, madam.”

  “Fitzwilliam,” she pleaded, cupping his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “We spoke about you.”

  He searched her eyes. “Did you?”

  “You can ask him if you do not believe me.”

  “I will not ask him anything. I made a fool of myself in front of him too many times for my liking.”

  Elizabeth felt that his formidable pride was coming to voice. She knew that it was a dangerous opponent, even to her. Leaning down, she kissed his lips, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he answered, his tone flat. “Now go, join the other ladies. I truly have much correspondence to attend to.”

  Elizabeth stepped back with a sigh. She did not know how to convince him that the conversation that she had with Colonel Fitzwilliam meant nothing to her. “Shall I see you at dinner?”

  “Of course,” he answered, not looking at her.

  She left the room, not liking in the least the feeling of rejection overpowering her.

  ***

  It was their last evening in London. Jane and Elizabeth decided to spend it dining with the Gardiners at their home in Cheapside. Mrs. Bennet declined to join them, announcing that she had to rest before tomorrow’s journey to Hertfordshire. Elizabeth was not quite certain that leaving Darcy and her mother alone for even a few hours was a sound idea. However, Jane pointed out to her that they did not have to sit in the same room. If Mrs. Bennet was indeed tired, she
would want to dine alone in her bedroom.

  As always when entering the Gardiners’ house, Elizabeth felt warmth envelop her heart. Mr. Gardiner was sitting near the fireplace with his two youngest children draped over him, and the two older ones playing at his feet. Mrs. Gardiner was settled in her favourite armchair, looking at fashion illustrations from “Lady’s Magazine,” planning the dresses that she would wear after regaining her figure.

  “If I had my way, this one would be my last one,” she said, touching her belly as Jane and Elizabeth sat next to her.

  “You are tired, dear Aunt,” Jane guessed.

  “I feel restless. What I dislike most is being trapped in a house for so many months every time. I cannot bear that I will not be able to attend the wedding of my two beloved nieces.”

  “You still can,” Elizabeth insisted. “The child will not be born earlier than January, you said it yourself.”

  “Your uncle is against me travelling when I am so far along in my condition. I should not be seen in public, people will gossip. It is different to attend a dinner at a private house than a wedding.”

  “We were selfish in setting the wedding date so early,” Jane said. “We should have taken into consideration that you would not be able to attend. A spring wedding would be lovely as well, do you not agree, Lizzy?”

  “I am afraid that Mr. Darcy would not be pleased with a spring wedding,” Elizabeth noted. “He thinks those three months of engagement to be too long already.”

  Mrs. Gardiner smiled. “Do not concern yourself with me. I still remember how it was to be young and in love. Your uncle and I did not have a long engagement either. Once I was certain of my feelings, I did not wish to wait even a week longer than necessary.”

  “We do hope that you will come to Pemberley for the entire summer,” Elizabeth said. “The children will love it there.”

  “Oh, I know that they would. However, I am not certain whether Mr. Darcy will be happy to house all seven of us.”

  “He mentioned it to me himself,” Elizabeth insisted. “He may not express himself in so many words, but he truly wishes you to come.”

  “Lizzy is right,” Jane supported her. “Mr. Darcy likes you the most out of all our family. Papa is his second favourite, I believe.”