Her Voice of Reason Page 2

  Jane put away her teacup and leaned forward. “You are scaring me, Sister.”

  Elizabeth stared at the fire. “I am scared, Jane, I truly am.”

  “What about the apothecary, Mr. Jones. Has he seen Papa?”

  “He has. He prescribed some herbal tea. It seemed to alleviate the headaches a little, but only for a week or so before they returned even stronger than before.”

  “For how long has Papa suffered from those headaches?”

  “Five, six weeks from what I noticed, if not longer. Oh, Jane, this cannot be quite normal, especially with such sudden sight deterioration.”

  Jane considered her sister’s words for a moment longer. “Papa has always read a lot. Perhaps this is the reason behind his illness. Maybe if he stopped reading and writing for a while, his condition would gradually improve.”

  “I thought about the same. I suggested that I would read to him, but he was not very keen on the idea, to say the least.”

  Jane tightened the shawl around her arms and rose to her feet. “Well, for now I think that I will go to the library to see him.”

  “I am sure that your sight will please him greatly.”

  Jane was by the door when Elizabeth asked quietly, “Jane?”

  “Yes, Lizzy?”

  “What about Mr.Bingley?”

  Jane gave her a sad smile. “The matter is resolved, I believe. I am certain that Mr Bingley does not care about me at all.”

  “Have you seen him, after all?”

  “I have not seen him, but I learned a great deal about him and his future plans from his sisters.”

  “Jane, you cannot rely on their words,” Elizabeth spoke with conviction. “They may be lying. I am sure that they are. Both Caroline and Mrs. Hurst are perfectly capable of deceit.”

  “I will explain everything later, Lizzy. It is a longer story to tell. Now I need to see Papa.”

  ***

  Dinner at Longbourn was a rather subdued affair that day. Despite the elder sister’s insistence to dine with the family, Mr. Bennet decided to take it alone in his room. Mrs. Bennet joined her daughters only to see her dear Jane. She mainly talked about her own poor health. It did not stop her, though, from interrogating Jane about London and Mr. Bingley. Lydia and Kitty were occupied with their own matters, whispering and giggling as was their custom. Mary was quiet and attentive to what was on her plate.

  Right after dinner Mrs. Bennet retired for the night. Jane and Elizabeth followed her example. Sleep was not on their minds, though. They huddled on the bed in Elizabeth’s room, and it was destined that they would sleep together in one bed that night. When they had been little girls they had always shared a bed, refusing to be separated.

  “Poor Jane, bearing so calmly Mama’s questions concerning Mr. Bingley,” Elizabeth said.

  “She always wished to know everything in greatest details when it comes to the matter of possible suitors. With five daughters to marry, we cannot truly blame her, can we?”

  “You accept it so calmly, Jane. I admire you for that.”

  “She wants the best for us, for our entire family. You know that, Lizzy.”

  “I do not wish to be as bad as Mama is with her enquiries, but...”

  “Ask me, Lizzy, anything you want,” Jane assured her. “It will be good for me to talk with you about it.”

  “You said that you had not met him during your stay. Was he out of town then?”

  “He was in town but too busy to see me.”

  “Caroline told you that? You should not give any faith to her words! She would do anything in her power to separate you from her brother.”

  “You may be right, Lizzy, but I have reason to believe that during my visit in Grosvenor Square Mr. Bingley was in the house. I think he was there, but he asked his sisters to tell me that he was away on business. He was avoiding me.”

  “You cannot know that, Jane! You said yourself that you had not seen him there.”

  “No, I did not see him. But I saw his best friend, Mr. Darcy.”

  “Mr. Darcy? Are you certain?”

  “Quite certain. He has a rather striking presence, a rather imposing figure, will you not agree? It is impossible to mistake him with anyone else with him being so tall. After I said goodbye to Caroline and Mrs. Hurst, I was putting on my coat and bonnet in the foyer. I looked up to see Mr.Darcy staring at me from the landing of the staircase. He bowed his head on seeing me then walked away.”

  “Without a word to you?”

  “Without a word.”

  “What a rude man! I hate him!”

  “Those are strong words, Lizzy.”

  “Hateful man! I am certain now that it was Mr. Darcy who together with Caroline convinced Mr. Bingley to abandon you.”

  “It is quite possible, ”Jane concurred. “Mr. Darcy is a good friend to Mr. Bingley. After all, it is better for Mr. Bingley to marry an heiress from an old noble family rather than the eldest daughter of a gentleman, with no dowry and poor connections. Caroline spoke plainly to me that Miss Darcy would become her sister one day and that it was a foregone conclusion. My thought is that they are still waiting with the announcements because she is so young still, only sixteen.”

  “It does not sound right to me, Jane. It simple does not! I do believe that Mr. Darcy and the Bingley sisters did whatever in their power to keep Mr. Bingley away from you; however, I cannot agree that he could have forgotten you. There was a true devotion in his every move, word and look when he was in his company last year.”

  “Perhaps, Lizzy, but it does not matter now. Mr. Bingley might have liked me more than others, however, he chose to leave me and not to see me. He is his own man. No one would forbid him from seeing me if he truly wanted to.”

  “Perhaps he thinks that he is indifferent to you. He might not know that you went to London with the sole purpose of seeing him.”

  Jane was silent for a moment before answering, “It is possible, Lizzy, but what can I do about it? I cannot write to him. We have no mutual friends apart from the Hursts and Mr. Darcy, who would never be encouraging of our union.”

  Elizabeth shook her head, tugging nervously on the ends of her nightgown. “It is so unfair, Jane. So unfair to you. You are good and beautiful, and any man would be happy to have you as a wife. You are too good even for Mr. Bingley, and certainly for his sisters.”

  Jane smiled, showing her even white teeth. “No one is perfect, Sister. Certainly not I. But let us not speak about Mr. Bingley anymore, as it is pointless with him refusing to return to Netherfield. I would like to discuss Papa. You are correct that he does not look or behave as himself. I spent a good hour in the library with him and he looks different. He changed during those six weeks when I was away.“

  “You see that it is not just a figment of my imagination.”

  “It certainly is not, Lizzy. My first impression was that he aged ten years at the very least.”

  Elizabeth did not say anything to that, but her silence and sad expression were the most acute confirmation of her sister’s words.

  “I believe that I do have a sound idea on how to help him.”

  Elizabeth perked up with interest. “I am listening.”

  “Aunt and Uncle had a guest for dinner one evening, a gentleman, his name is Mr. Greenwood. He read in Cambridge and has been a member of the Royal College of Physicians for many years. He made quite an impression on me. I heard him advising Aunt Madeline on the way to improve the health of the people working in Uncle’s warehouses, stressing the importance of good food, hygiene, as well as moderation in beverages.”

  “Do you think that he could come here to see Papa?”

  “I think that he would agree to advise us, to be sure. He is an older gentleman, thus I do not think that he would wish to move out of the city. It would be much easier to bring Papa to him, I imagine. I will write to Aunt Gardiner tomorrow, explaining the situation to her. I will enclose a letter to Mr. Greenwood, describing the exact symptoms that Papa is suff
ering from. It would be good if you helped me to write it, Lizzy, as you have observed Papa closely for many weeks now.”

  “I will, of course I will, Jane. I will write it myself if necessary. How good that you thought about that. A man like Mr. Greenwood would certainly know how to help Papa.”

  ***

  January 27th

  Cheapside

  London

  My dearest Nieces,

  In the first words of this letter I want to assure you that I, your uncle, and our children are in the best possible health and high spirits. Thank you for your kind enquires. The weather is quite balmy here in London, with mild wind and little rain, far from the cold you experience in Hertfordshire. The children and I enjoy walks in the park almost every day. You know how difficult it is to keep little ones inside the house for longer than a day. We already miss dearest Jane, especially Marigold, who asks about her a few times every day.

  I must admit that your letter surprised and saddened us greatly. The way you described Mr. Bennet’s condition made us deeply concerned about his wellbeing. I immediately paid a visit to Mr. Greenwood and discussed the matter with him. He was very sympathetic but seemed reluctant to come to Longbourn as due to his age he rarely leaves London these days, especially in winter. Nevertheless, he was interested in your father’s case and readily agreed to read and analyse your letter to him. He promised to write his professional opinion and deliver it to me within days. Understandably I will post it to you as soon as I receive it from him. Stay safe, and remember that we pray for you and love you.

  Your loving Aunt,

  Madeline Gardiner

  ***

  February 1st

  Russell Square

  London

  Dear Miss Bennet,

  Your letter to me was quite a surprise, but I am more than happy to offer help to such a lovely young lady as you. Your Aunt, Mrs. Gardiner, is a good friend of my daughter, as you know. I hold the entire Gardiner family in high esteem, thus it is with great sorrow that I need to deliver the sad news to you. Your Aunt assured me that you would like to hear the truth no matter how harsh it was.

  After analysing your letter where your sister described so meticulously your father’s condition, I have no doubt that your father is dying. I have seen too many similar cases in my forty years as a physician. All the symptoms, especially sight deterioration, severe headaches, mood changes, lack of appetite and weariness suggest that your father has cancer, in all probability a lump located on his brain.

  He has a few months left, no more than six, perhaps seven, eight at the most. The illness is not curable. There are known cases of cancer removal from the body, but I do not think that anyone would risk to do it on a brain. Perhaps in the far future with the advancements in medical science. Such a procedure would be most painful and terrifying for the patient.

  I enclose a detailed list of medicines with the instructions on how to prepare them. Your local apothecary should have little trouble preparing them. I can assure you that this medication will make your father feel better as well as make the rest of his life bearable. Do not mistake his improvement for recovery, though. He will pass away before the end of the year.

  If you have any further questions to ask me feel free to contact me through Mrs. Gardiner.

  Again, I am deeply sorry to be the one who delivers the sad news to you. I hope that you and your family will remain in good spirits and with hope in your hearts.

  Sincerely,

  John Greenwood

  ***

  February 27th

  Hunsford Cottage

  Kent

  My dearest Lizzy,

  I hope that my letter is finding you in a good health and high spirits. I am pleased to announce that everything has been settled. My father and Mariah are coming to visit me at my home at Hunsford cottage. As we discussed before, I expect that you will join them, my dear. I miss you so much, Lizzy. I enjoy my new life and appreciate it greatly, but there is hardly anyone here I can discuss the matters close to my heart. Mr. Collins is busy with pleasing Lady Catherine and tending to his garden. I do not complain about it, mind you, but I cannot wait to enjoy your company again.

  You will like the grounds here, especially the park at Rosings. It is excellent for long walks which you enjoy so much. My father plans to travel on March 15th unless the roads are not dry enough by the time, which I pray will not be the case.

  I will not write more because we shall see each other soon, having all the time on our disposal to catch up on the news and enjoy each others’ company.

  Your friend,

  Charlotte Collins

  Chapter Two

  The day was lovely for early March, sunny and warm, the trees already covered with little green leaves. Jane and Elizabeth took advantage of the good weather to stroll through the small park at the back of the house.

  “Oh, Jane, I do not wish to go to Kent.”

  “We discussed it already, Lizzy,” Jane spoke with quiet firmness to her voice. She sat down on the bench in the farthest corner of Longbourn Park. She opened her parasol, always mindful to protect her face from the sun.

  The sisters were careful not to discuss the troubling matters in the house, fearing that one of the younger girls or Mrs. Bennet might overhear them. They were in agreement that it was most prudent to keep the truth behind Mr. Bennet’s health problems a secret. Had Mrs. Bennet learned that her husband was gravely ill, she would certainly act with even less reserve and reason than usual.

  “Papa is feeling better, Jane.”

  “Mr. Greenwood wrote very clearly that he would if he was taking the medicine he has been prescribed.”

  “I refuse to believe what Mr. Greenwood claimed in his letter. Papa seems much better!”

  Jane touched her shoulder. “Do not think, Sister, that I lost hope or that I stopped believing in Papa’s recovery. Never that, I assure you. However, we cannot pretend that Mr. Greenwood’s letter does not exist. I pray every day that his estimation of Papa is wrong, but he gave us his opinion with certainty based on years of experience and education. The headaches are still very much present, the only difference is that Papa is suffering less than before.”

  Tears formed in Elizabeth’s big, dark eyes. “I cannot think calmly about it. What shall we do if the worst happens?”

  Jane put her arm around her younger sister, bringing her closer. “We are the oldest. We have to think about Lydia, Kitty and Mary, and Mama. You know as well as I that Mama is not capable of rational thinking. Charlotte Lucas will be mistress of Longbourn one day. We should do our best to stay in her good graces and her husband’s. You should go to Kent to visit her.”

  Elizabeth wiped away the wetness from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Do you think that I should reveal the truth to Charlotte?” she asked.

  “She may help us. She is much cleverer than Mr. Collins, and I imagine that she has much influence on his actions.”

  “It is good that Mama is not aware of Papa’s condition,” Elizabeth said with relief in her voice. “I cannot imagine what she would do if she knew that we could be out of Longbourn within a year.”

  Jane considered her sister’s remark for a moment before asking with uncertainty in her voice, “Do you not think that we should prepare Mama somehow?”

  “No,” Elizabeth spoke without hesitation. “There is quite enough for us to deal with. Mama’s hysterics is not something that we should add to our troubles.”

  “It is her husband and her home...” Jane was still hesitant.

  “In the first place we should ensure Papa’s wellbeing, his peacefulness,” Elizabeth insisted.

  Jane nodded. “You are right, Sister. Papa is our priority.”

  ***

  Elizabeth entered the library quietly. She was dressed for the journey, wearing a long dark blue coat, shawl, gloves, and sturdy boots.

  Mr. Bennet had his eyeglasses on, and as well he was helping himself with a magnifier to read the newspaper.


  “Papa, you promised not to try to read on your own,” she admonished him gently, stepping to his side, taking the paper away from him. “Your eyesight will never improve if you keep on reading and writing on your own.”

  “Will it ever improve, Lizzy?” he sounded doubtful.

  “It certainly will,” she spoke with conviction. “But only if you allow your eyes to rest for a while.”

  Elizabeth pulled a chair to sit next to her father. Mr. Bennet looked at her travelling outfit, commenting, “You are leaving me then, daughter. First Jane, now you.” He sighed with melancholy.

  Rolling her eyes, Elizabeth touched his arm and spoke brightly. “It is only a few weeks, Papa. I promised to Charlotte a long time ago that I would visit her in spring in her new home.”

  “What will I do without you?”

  “You will do very well, Papa,” she assured in a rich, encouraging voice. “The cook will prepare all your favourites. The weather is improving; you should take tours around the park. Fresh air will diminish your headaches. And if you wish to stay here, Jane and Mary will read to you.”

  “You are the best reader, Lizzy.”

  “I think that you are rather spoilt, Papa,” she observed teasingly.

  He reached for her hand to kiss it. “Have a good time there, and please write to me in detail about formidable Lady Catherine. I am very curious to hear more about her.”

  “I promise, Papa.” She leaned over to hug him, kissing the top of his balding head.

  “Go, go,” he ordered gently, patting her back. “Sir William will not wait for you forever.”

  “I love you, Papa,” she whispered.

  “There, Lizzy, let us not turn melodramatic. It is not in our custom.”

  Elizabeth pulled back, fighting back the tears gathering in her eyes. “I will ask Jane to come here in a few minutes and read the newspaper to you,” she promised.

  As she was leaving the room, she stopped by the door to watch him for a moment. He took the newspaper back in his hands, smoothing it carefully, but he did not try to read it again. She sighed inwardly. She was already considering how soon she could return home without insulting Charlotte. Sir Lucas planned to stay in Kent for only a week before returning to Lucas Lodge, leaving his youngest daughter Mariah behind to stay with Charlotte till the end of the spring. Elizabeth refused to think that she could be away from her father for more than a month, though.